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SITE GENERAL
PIZZA GENERAL
PIZZA CAST LINKS
[Johnny Boxer's Official Website]
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FAT PIZZA OFFICIAL LINKS
[SBS-TV]
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ELLIE'S REDNECK WITH CHEESE
[Index]
REVIEWS
[Series 1]
[Series 2]
[Series 3]
[Movie]
[Erk's Sydney Stage Show Review]
[Ellie's Brisbane Stage Show Review]
REAL FAT PIZZA TOUR
[Series 2]
[Series 3]
[Movie]
STATISTICS
[Series 1]
[Series 2]
[Series 3]
[Movie]
"They wanted to use me as their gimp, whatever that is." - Pauly to Bobo after arriving back from the S & M Party. Series 1, Episode 1.
"Is that just what happened? Man! That is the one with the good kebabs! (Looks at kebab he is eating) Lucky I got one!" - Pauly after Sleek tells him that the service station just blew up. Series 1, Episode 3.
"Bobo thought I was a stooge getting a bullet proof hotbag." - Pauly after being shot at by the hitman (one bullet was lodged in his hotbag.) Series 1, Episode 4.
"That's right, I am Sleek." - Pauly with the strippers in Police uniforms meant for Sleek. Series 1, Episode 4.
"We only earn $3 an hour, where do you want me to live? The Hilton?" Pauly to Sleek after Sleek questions why Pauly is rubbishing Bobo for living at home with his mama when Pauly lives at home with his mum and girlfriend. Series 1, Episode 5
"Man, I don't know! I mean I did work at a Dodgem place for a few years, I ran over lots of kids, I don't know, maybe it was him, that's not important........." Pauly after Sleek asks if he did run over Nut's head and squashed it like a tomato. Series 1, Episode 5
"It's one of them Transtesticle Clubs" - Pauly gets close but no donut for his description of the club he finds Bobo in. Series 1, Episode 5
"Man, he is so drunk that he can't tell the difference between a woman and a....one of them" - Pauly to Sleek while watching Bobo dance with Lola. Series 1, Episode 5
"If you believe that, then you are a stooge." Pauly to Sleek after seeing an deodorant commercial on TV (he then sees an ad with Claudia in it for the Army Reserves and guess which stooge joins up to meet her and other women?) Series 1, Episode 6
"I'm here to meet women." - Pauly honestly explains why he joined the Army Reserves (memo Pauly: there are easier ways of doing this, ok!) Series 1, Episode 6
"Nah man, let him shoot Bobo. Then maybe we could get some time off." - Pauly to Sleek after Sleek suggests stopping the gunman. Series 1, Episode 7
"Bobo, I warned ya, pizza delivery is a stressful, stressful game." - Pauly to Sleek and Bobo after Bobo got shot. Series 1, Episode 7
"No bananas/Bobo's pyjamas/He's not coming down the stairs/his pumper/under his jumper" - Pauly trying to rap like Sleek about Bobo (to the tune of Bananas in Pyjamas) Series 1, Episode 7
"Alcohol is not a drug, you stooge!" - Pauly to the SBS Security Guard after Pauly complains that South Park promotes drug use. The Security Guard asks Pauly if he is drinking a beer. Pauly says that he is and then says that he is drinking Scotch and Coke. Series 1, Episode 7
"Wave at a farmer? What do I look like, Mr Friendly?" - Pauly after Sleek explains that it is illegal not to wave at a farmer in Queensland if he waves at you. Pauly got fined $200 for this offence. Series 1, Episode 7
"Sleek, you are a beautiful guy but you are very naive." - Pauly after Sleek tells him you don't need to shave to be an iron man. Series 1, Episode 7
"That's Sleek!..........(sees Sleek cruise past asleep at the wheel of the Sleekmobile) He knows what he is doing." - Pauly on another delivery and he sees Sleek. Series 1, Episode 8
"CPR? What's that?...........I have to put my mouth WHERE?" - Pauly on the phone to the ambulance after a guy collapses on the floor after eating a pizza. Series 1, Episode 8
"I mean, if you just take a second to look at this guy's face, I mean you get herpes just by thinking about the guy, there's no way I'm putting my mouth on that." Pauly explains the reason for his strange CPR method to the ambulance officers. Series 1, Episode 8
"It couldn't be any worse working for the Mafia than working for Bobo" - Pauly on his new bosses. Series 1, Episode 9.
"There's not a good looking chick for 30 kays here" - Pauly tells Sleek one of the disadvantages of Fat Pizza's new location. Series 2, Episode 1.
"You can't fine me for that intersection, it was ridiculous. You could not turn left and you could not turn right." - Pauly tries to explain to Police why he turned at a T Junction that had both no left and right turn restrictions during morning peak hour. Series 2, Episode 1
"Ring my shop another 18 times, you know, call another 18 times and I'll think about bringing a stooge like you a pizza!" - Pauly decides to take a pizza back to the shop after he realises the customer is his former driver tester who failed him on his driving test. Series 2, Episode 1
"Man, there's a million people in here, I've got four pizzas in the hot bags getting soggy. What am I gonna do here? Maybe I should just jump the queue. Yeah, let's do that. What could happen?" - Pauly thinking after he sees the queue at the Motor Registry and sees that his ticket is 20417 and number 16 is being served. He rips the ticket in half so only 17 is visible and when number 17 appears on the noticeboard, he goes to the counter. Series 2, Episode 2.
"No mate, 17. (Shows man half a ticket that says 17). Hey buddy, there is a million people waiting here alright, what makes you think that you are so special that makes you think that you can jump the queue ahead of everyone else. (to woman behind counter) He's a stooge, this bloke!" - Pauly to a guy that turns out to have a gun at the Motor Registry after Pauly jumped the queue. Series 2, Episode 2.
"Man, I can't believe that Sleek is really dead! I mean, yes, he was a Leb and, you know, he was a real stooge too but we had some real tip-top times!" - Pauly remembers Sleek. A series of flashbacks plays then Sleek then rings Pauly and says he is not dead. Series 2, Episode 4.
"This is a tough one Eddie. I'm afraid I'm gonna have to do the lifeline and I'll call Habib from Bankstown." - Pauly to Eddie Galah on "Who Can Win Millions?" Series 2, Episode 4.
"Thanks Habib. I just wanted to know which one was entirely wrong so we can move on now." - Pauly gets some help from Habib the lifeline. Series 2, Episode 4.
"Wait a minute man, just stop a second Eddie! This is a trick question. Confucius had no children. He was too busy coming up with all them sayings, alright? So what is the story here man? (Eddie interrupts). I'm not locking in nothin', alright? You're trying to stooge me!" - Pauly thinks Eddie is trying to trick him. Thanks to a Chinese man in the audience, Pauly was proven right and the show was terminated. Series 2, Episode 4.
Pauly's rap while borrowing Sleek's car: (Series 2, Episode 5)
Pauly's on the mic/everyday and every night
Sleek is a stooge/didn't you know that?
He's got hair on his back/didn't you know that?
Bobo's too rude and crude
Coz he's got that thing for the trannies
Sleek the Elite thinks he's good but he's not
Coz I'm on the mic, he's a big flop.
That's right, when I'm in the club he thinks he's good with the chicks
But I'm behind his back doing tricks............
"To be a good rapper, you have got to have an element of the truth." - Pauly tells Habib that he doesn't like Sleek's rapping. Series 2, Episode 5.
"When Sleek raps, mate, what's he talking about? What's the subject matter?" - Pauly continues to tell Habib about Sleek's rapping. Series 2, Episode 5.
"Sleek, what are you talking about mate? I am that good with kids, I'm like a Banana Pyjama to them." Pauly tells Sleek how good he is with kids. Series 2, Episode 6.
"It's working now. It's one of those solar phones man. You know, the moon gives it the power." - Pauly tells Bobo why he didn't call and tell Bobo the car was stolen. Pauly originally said his phone battery was dead. Bobo must have pointed out to Pauly that the phone is working now. Series 2, Episode 6.
"Sleek, it's me man! You won't believe what just happened! I was in a bloody train crash! Mate! It just flipped over! It was unbelievable! Everybody's dead except for me. Lucky, you know! I was sitting next to these two fat blokes. so when the train flipped, it was like I had my own airbags! But you know, fat guy airbags! It's unbelievable mate, it's a fair dinkum disaster but I'm hoping that there's some good looking emergency services chicks coming." - Pauly thinks he is telling Sleek about his train crash but he is talking to the backyard doctor who is taking Sleek's kidneys. During this quote, images of Pauly's train crash are shown. Series 2, Episode 6.
"Bobo, I'm not Sleek's mother. I don't know where he is every minute of the day." - Pauly gives Bobo an answer to the often asked question "Where is Sleek?" Series 2, Episode 6.
"I've been in a train crash alright, have some respect. (Bobo must tell Pauly that he doesn't believe him.) How is that unbelievable mate? These things, they're crashing every day. I'm comin'!" - Pauly tells Bobo about his train crash. Series 2, Episode 6.
"Not the scooter man, come on! It's a bloody stooge mobile!" - Pauly tells Bobo what he thinks of the scooter. Next scene shows Pauly riding the Stooge Mobile. Series 2, Episode 6.
"Clown!" - What Pauly calls Ronald McDoggle the clown instead of a stooge. Highly original, Pauly! Series 2, Episode 6.
"I reckon that one night, we should just check one of these clubs out. They look pretty good. Come on man, I've never been to one. I just want to check it out once." - Pauly tries to get Sleek to a strip club. Series 2, Episode 7.
"I don't know why, but she has got this idea I'm always chasing and looking after other chicks." - Pauly tells Sleek about his jealous girlfriend. I do have some empathy for both sides! Series 2, Episode 7.
"That was a good move." - Pauly proves his own point while watching Claudia on TV. Series 2, Episode 7.
"We don't want them that skinny. We want them most skinny but with enough meat to hang on to." - Pauly tells Sleek what he likes about a woman. Series 2, Episode 7.
"It would look good on a skinnier chick, not that I'm saying that you are fat!" - Keep digging, Pauly! Series 2, Episode 7.
"I tried my best but nothing was good enough for her." - Pauly whinges to Sleek. Series 2, Episode 7.
"What we do, we wait until them stooges are gone then we drive off." - Pauly tells girlfriend number 1 his plan after being told by Police to leave his car. Series 2, Episode 7.
"Without trust in a relationship, I've told her, it can not grow. It can not flourish. (Sleek points out that on TV, Claudia has bent over and is showing cleavage. Pauly looks). Hooters." - Pauly tells Sleek about trust in a relationship. Series 2, Episode 7.
"You play basketball, don't you Sleek! It's for the Sydney Kings (basketball team), isn't it?" - Pauly returns serve to Sleek full of sarcasm. Sleek 1, Pauly 1. Series 2, Episode 7.
"Yeah, cops are tops they say!" - Pauly tells girlfriend number 2 that he likes cops because her girlfriend's dad is a cop. Series 2, Episode 7.
"The jealous chick stooged me." - A long list gets longer for Pauly. Series 2, Episode 7.
"Man, this whole town is nothing but a stooge festival mate. I used to live here so I know what I am talking about." - Pauly agrees with Sleek about Canberra. Series 2, Episode 8.
"These trams. what are they? I don't understand this. Have a train or a car." - Pauly tries to understand a tram but fails. Series 2, Episode 8.
"Sleek man, look what I found! Some chick has left her little g thing, you know. It is big at the front." - Pauly has found a g-string in the hotel room. It belongs to Sleek. Series 2, Episode 8.
"That's not bad. I will use that." - Pauly likes a Sleekie pickup line. Series 2, Episode 8.
"How can you turn a horse who gets poisioned by a kebab into a national hero?" - Pauly questions the legend of Phar Lap. Series 2, Episode 9.
"It's not a wheelchair, you stooge! It's a car!" - Pauly gets very worked up about a war hero in a Mini going very slowly in front of him. Series 2, Episode 9.
"Wait a minute, no suit. I've only got the tracksuit and that. Tracksuits gotta to be cool, the diggers, they're into tracksuits. I've got medals and stuff." - Pauly realises he is not dressed for the march. Series 2, Episode 9.
"Think about this! If I get involved..... Man that's great because I'll be a hero juat like my old Nanoo (Pauly's grandfather) back in Anzac Cove, doing the Anzac Spirit. You know, with all of the publicity that goes with stopping an assinsination, that's a tiptop way to meet chicks!" - Is there anything that Pauly won't do to meet chicks? Series 2, Episode 9.
"I told you we should have taken the train, you stooge!" - Pauly tells Sleek how they should have caught a train after stealing a golf cart and ending up in the middle of the opening cermony of the Sydney 2000 Olympic Games. Series 2, Episode 9.
"Man, I've gotta apologise, I'm sorry. Take the gun back. Go shoot him mate. What a stooge! (Pause while Bruno shoots) What was this guy thinking, BST tax! You stooge!" - Pauly forgets his "publicity equals chicks" theory about saving the Prime Minister's life once he realises who Bruno is going to shoot. Series 2, Episode 9.
"Bobo would have called. I mean with his two best pizza delivery guys missing....mate he would have called the Police, Ambulance, everything..." - Pauly over-estimates his worth to Bobo as we see in the next scene. Series 2, Episode 10.
"Haven't those refugees heard of seafood?" - Pauly finds some food for him and Sleek. Series 2, Episode 10.
"Do you think those native chicks want to see white guys from Neighbours when they get here?" - Pauly tells Sleek to tan up after finding coconut oil on the island. Series 2, Episode 10.
What do you think you are doing mate? Sleek, this is the 10th time this week! We went over this at least 15 times. No grabbing of the ass during the night, mate. That's not happening man!" - Pauly wakes up to find Sleek grabbing his ass. Series 2, Episode 10.
"Sucked in Sleek." - Pauly compares his life on his half of the island to Sleek. Series 2, Episode 10.
"Are you looking at me? Are you talking to me? Are you talking to me? Well mate there is no one else here!" - Pauly does a deNiro to a volleyball with a bloodied smiley face. Series 2, Episode 10.
"Come on man, I'm not the enemy, I'm Australian! You've got all them bases in our country, we've saved you in all those wars. I drink Coke and Pepsi" - Pauly tries to convince the Americans that he is ok. Series 2, Episode 10.
"Hey Sleek mate! These Americans when I told them that I was an Australian, they treated me like a bum. Imagine what they would have said if I said (noticeable voice change) 'could we please turn around for the Lebanese bloke!'?" - Pauly tells Sleek why he didn't tell the Americans to save Sleek. Series 2, Episode 10.
"If you come with Pauly, the luck is there every time." - Pauly tells Sleek that he is in luck. Great luck Pauly! Soon after, they get nuked. Series 2, Episode 10.
Pauly gets bored and sings on the island during Series 2, Episode 10. He sings the following parts of songs:
"Wake me up before you go-go.keep me hanging on like a yo-yo". He then says "I like that one." (Bananarama's "Wake Me Up Before You go-go")
"Everybody's doing that thing with the train now, come on baby do the blokeamotion. You've got to do it with your hands and get your pants off" (Kylie's "Locomotion")
"I'm on the beach and Sleek must be sucked in because I've got the good side of the island" - Pauly made this one up.
"I was going to build a boat, then I got high/Sleek must be freezing his ass off/and I'm high and dry" (Afroman's "Because I Was High)
Page last updated 19 November 2001
