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SITE GENERAL
PIZZA GENERAL
PIZZA CAST LINKS
[Johnny Boxer's Official Website]
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FAT PIZZA OFFICIAL LINKS
[SBS-TV]
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ELLIE'S REDNECK WITH CHEESE
[Index]
REVIEWS
[Series 1]
[Series 2]
[Series 3]
[Movie]
[Erk's Sydney Stage Show Review]
[Ellie's Brisbane Stage Show Review]
REAL FAT PIZZA TOUR
[Series 2]
[Series 3]
[Movie]
STATISTICS
[Series 1]
[Series 2]
[Series 3]
[Movie]
"If youse are rootin' I don't care, I'm coming in!" - Sleek at the seemingly empty house - Series 1, episode 1
"I was the victim of a home invasion" - Sleek, explaining to Bobo where the pizzas for Seemingly empty house at Bondi got to - Series 1, episode 1
"I don't watch SBS, it's too ethnic." - Sleek while looking for the SBS newsreader. Series 1, Episode 2
"Sleek the Elite, you're on TV baby!" - Sleek on TV after finding the newsreader. Series 1, Episode 2
"Come on Bobo, you can't dock me mate, please! It wasn't my fault I got lost in SBS. Hey, at least you got your box on ethnic television. Bobo, that's great publicity!" - Sleek to Bobo after returning from SBS. Series 1, Episode 2
"They should have got my uncle, man. He just got off the boat." - Sleek suggests an alternative for the "big fake ethnic papa" they are using instead of Bobo for the TV ad. Series 1, Episode 3.
"You coppers are overworked, underpaid, never get laid! But I will, because it is my birthday!" - Sleek's rap to the Policeman while trying to explain he was rapping in the car. Series 1, Episode 4
"I read the Lebanese El Telegraph and it wasn't in that. I read Hustler and I read Mad." - Sleek tells Pauly why he didn't read about the plane crash. Series 1, Episode 5
"I heard that all they do in the Army Reserves is drink beers anyway" - Sleek to Bobo on his idea about why Pauly joined the Army Reserves (how wrong was he? The next scene shows Pauly getting beaten up). Series 1, Episode 6
"Bobo is a dodo" - Part of a rap by Sleek about Bobo. Series 1, Episode 6
"Mate, can I get 6 bucks per hour instead of 3? Because, like, Pauly's away mate and I'm working hard for ya delivering all of the pizzas, and mate, the rego's coming up......" Sleek asks Bobo for more money (and wins the Steve Roach "Mate" award for the most use of the word "mate" in one quote). Needless to say, Sleek's request is denied. Series 1, Episode 6
"I lost your number, then I found it, then I lost it again." - Sleek to Zane the porn actress that he appeared with in episode 6. Sleek is trying to explain why he hasn't called. Series 1, Episode 7
"If you are looking for the 5 cent machines Bobo, they are over there." Sleek tries to direct Bobo in the right direction at the Casino. Needless to say, Bobo didn't listen. Series 1, Episode 9
"He went sick." - Sleek tells Pauly how Bobo gambled at the Casino. Series 1, Episode 9
"Pauly, you know that I don't take Australians or over 35's but what the hell? I just got back from Lebanon." - Sleek explains to Pauly about sleeping with Shazza. Series 2, Episode 1.
"Bro, she was going on like a rocket, I thought she worked for NASA. That Shazza, very romantic for an Australian lady" - Sleek tells Pauly about his latest conquest. Series 2, Episode 1.
Conversation between a female (F) with a phone sex voice and Sleek (S) on the phone, Series 2, Episode 1:
S: Sleek the Elite!
F: Hi baby!
S: Who's this?
F: I'm your secret admirer.
S (sceptical): Oh yeah? Where did you get my number from?
F; Well your shop's number's on the side of your car so I rang your shop and your boss gave me your number. I'm sitting here right now, watching you, in my car.
S: I'm looking in my mirror baby, and all I can see are my beautiful eyes, a truck and a bloody cop car behind the truck.
F: Well guess what? I'm not that truck. (voice changes) Pull over driver, you've just been busted using a mobile phone while driving.
"My car's like a brothel." - Sleek after a news crew accuse Bobo of running a brothel from Fat Pizza. Series 2, Episode 1.
"I had to go Sleekism, threesomes, again!" - Sleek tells Pauly what he didn't want to hear about the girls in the snow. Series 2, Episode 2.
"I don't understand the forms, the bank forms and that! I don't know mate. They are not structured for people like me. So what I done, I brought in my two speakers, my sound system and my microphone, and I'm going to give you a demonstration." - Sleek to the Bank Manager while trying to get a loan to finance his rap career. Series 2, Episode 5.
"Bro, Pauly's told you, mate. With this GST, it takes him 10% longer to get to work." - Sleek to Bobo when Bobo asks "Where's Pauly?". Series 2, Episode 6.
"What sort of sucker lets someone take their genitialia, man?" - Sleekie, the answer is you! Sleek reacts to seeing a news report about people in the food delivery business having body parts removed. Series 2, Episode 6.
"Bro, why would anyone in their right mind give a kid to you to look after?" - Sleek asks Pauly a question that had to be asked. Series 2, Episode 6.
"Man, these pizzas are almost as bad as Bobo's." - Sleek gives Pauly his view on the opposition. Series 2, Episode 7.
"Come on man, these strip joints degrade women and exploit their bodies." - Sleek presents a very un-Sleek like argument to Pauly about strip joints. Series 2, Episode 7.
"Man, what's with you and the Harbour Bridge bro? What is it mate? What, you think you are taller up there because you are off the ground?" - Sleek picks on Pauly's lack of height after Pauly reveals that he has taken both girlfriends to the top of the Harbour Bridge. Sleek 1, Pauly 0. Series 2, Episode 7.
"Bro, I rate each of your girls about 3 and a half out of 10. Mate, I'm being fair. Man, if you could do that to combine the best of the two and put them into 1 , you'll get 9 out of 20. Hey! Nearly a pass but better than usual for you!" - Sleek (rather unkindly I thought) rates Pauly's girlfriends. Series 2, Episode 7.
"Don't hit me man! I've told you about that!" - Sleek after Pauly gives him a playful slap. Series 2, Episode 8.
"Man, I don't get it mate. The buildings, the people. It's boring. There's no chicks. There's no kebabs. There's no rap music. What's going on? How do politicians live like this?" - Sleek tells Pauly what he thinks of Canberra. Series 2, Episode 8.
"Bro, are you saying you are going to march with the old soldiers? Man, I knew you were in the Army but you got kicked out, remember? (Sleek starts to rap) You got kicked and evicted, oh yeah!" - Sleek questions Pauly about why he is going to the Anzac Day march. Series 2, Episode 9.
"Man, with all the people we know, they have probably called a national search by now from here and Lebanon." - Sleek hopes he will be rescued from the ocean soon. Series 2, Episode 10.
"Mate, that's a cow prodder man. I should know. The cops in Sydney always use those against us Lebs. It hurts, hey! Don't worry Pauly, you won't die mate. Be brave." - Doctor Sleek reassures Pauly after Pauly gets zapped by a cow prodder. Series 2, Episode 10.
"Listen bro, if I do it in my sleep, well technically I am not aware that I am doing it." - Sleek's half assed (pun intended) Pauly ass grabbing defence. Series 2, Episode 10.
"Sucked in Pauly" - Sleek compares his life in the resort to Pauly. Series 2, Episode 10.
"You mean to tell me that out of all the oceans in the world you ended up next to Sleekism!" - Sleek wonders about where torpedo Pauly landed. Series 2, Episode 10.
Page last updated 19 November 2001
